I think I'm going into some sort of full blown panic. I keep trying to get up and go and get ready and do things, but somehow I can't move from the computer, I have to get ready. I'm giving one of the bridesmaids a lift since she lives in Nottingham, so it made sense for us to go together, I don't know what time she will get here, I can't just sit around at the computer. I'm getting more worried. Need to think about something else. When I sit and type here even when typing about it, it oddly seems to lessen the stress a bit, but as soon as I stop and try to actually do something my insides feel all churny and I desparately don't want to do anything, I'm pathetic :-( It's a good job I'm not the one getting married, I'd be hopeless. Though there would be less scary people I guess.
I have to go to Swansea today for my friend's wedding. The wedding is tomorrow. I'm scared. I would say nervous, but I don't think nervous quite comes close to the feelings of terror I have. Why am I so scared? I don't think it's the actual wedding, I don't think it's the fact that a friend I've known since I was 11 is getting married, I think mostly it boils down to the fact that I am a geek. I am scared because I will be around girly girls and they'll be all giggly and excited. I'm scared because there'll be loads of people I don't know. The wedding itself oddly shouldn't be too bad, because I'm an usher, so I'll have lots of jobs to do and I can keep busy doing them all and making sure I'm all organised, it's the parts where I'm not actually doing anything that are scary. The parts where I don't know what to do and there's loads of people and I can't think of anything to say to them. Aaaargh. I should probably pack some stuff and get ready, I haven't even wrapped her presents yet, which I can't do without buying wrapping paper. I should do that.
I have this desire to just become invisible or something. It'll be good to see Julie get married, it's just all the scariness leading up to the wedding and then afterwards that I don't like.
Random observation of the day
All TVs these days seem to be silver.