Well, it's been a while. At first I wasn't posting because I just couldn't be bothered, life seemed dull and I couldn't really think of things to say, then I just got out of the habit. It's funny that, the way our lives are mostly about habit. Or maybe everyone's aren't, mine certainly is, the problem is that it's a lot easier to fall into bad habits than good ones, so sitting around watching T.V (or in my case playing on the computer or watching DVDs) is easy to get in the habit of doing, going for 5 mile runs is harder. Anyway, I've decided to start being more positive about things and also try to do more interesting things, in this way I may have more things to think more positively about. I've been playing the clarinet again, which also involved taking it to the music shop to get it recorked (first I had to remove the masking tape which was holding the bell on, and remove all traces of the tape so they didn't look at me appalled at how I'd been holding it together after the cork fell off). I'm also thinking about getting more excercise. I haven't done much about that yet, but thinking about it must count for something. Actually I'm putting myself down there, I have been doing a few situps and things and I even ran with the dog for a bit today instead of walking. Running with the dog is not something I am very good at, I'm not entirely sure it's healthy actually, I cannot make it very far, I'm not good at guessing measurements, but if you were to guess a couple of hundred metres I don't think you'd be far off. Anyway, why don't I think it's healthy? Well, I do this little bit of running, keep going until my chest tells me I'm going to die, then I walk and find I can barely breathe. It then takes several hours for my chest and throat to stop hurting, I'm sure this can't be normal. Though it may have had something to do with the cold and the rain, it made me have a coughing fit too.

I read James's weblog yesterday (Hello James) and then decided that perhaps my new positive thinking plan may in fact be "Cognitive Behavior Therapy" however, I don't think it is, I don't feel that I am suppressing negative thoughts as such, more that I've decided to try to see the positive. Realistically I know that I tend towards negative thoughts, so this might be hard. However, the fact is that my life is pretty good when you look at it, well, okay maybe not when *you* (You being the imaginary critical person who I picture reading my blog and laughing at me)look at it, *you* might see a twenty-seven year old single-woman who's barely even had a whiff of interest from the opposite sex, who works in a library and spends too much time on a computer, but hey, who're you to judge, you're spending your time reading people's blogs. But in fact life is good, the realisation and impetous here really came from being a Christian and my relationship with God (please don't all run away, I won't preach at you, or not for long anyway, I'll just finish this paragraph, then go onto something else) I was praying and felt God's love and thought that really I have nothing to be negative about. Hopefully I'll be able to keep feeling positive, which really just means keep listening to God, because my depression always comes when I'm not praying and am kind of going around in my own little mopey world. I guess if I wasn't a Christian I wouldn't be able to think positively at all.

On a completely unrelated topic, I've been a bit bored with World of Warcraft lately, in fact I haven't logged in in a week. So when I got an email saying City of Heroes was doing a free resubscription for the weekend, I jumped at it. 5 or 6 hours later after I had finished downloading all the updates for it, I logged in and couldn't really remember what I was doing. Anyway, I tried a few of my characters and stuff and did kind of enjoy it, but it really doesn't have as much going for it as World of Warcraft, sad. I did a few missions on Mr Tea and saw that the instance maps are still exactly the same, which was very upsetting. The nightclub has improved, but it's still boring and not even hidden anymore, they advertise it, so it's not even fun trying to find it. I did a mission in the nightclub and then got given a follow on mission, but I refuse to do that on principle, it required that I team up with a villain! Mr Tea is a superhero, He doesn't do deals with the devil. I was tempted to make a villain if there was a free trial to City of Villains, but if I had a villain I would fight heroes and my hero wants to fight villains, not break into buildings with them. He has a strong moral and ethical code to uphold!