We all know that email spam is an annoying drain on our time and patience. We are bombarded with emails telling us how to enlarge our size and seduce men and women. We all feel that we'd be much better off without spam. However, every once in a while a spam message comes along which should not be banished immediately to the depths of your deleted items, one which should be read and savoured. A while ago I collected amusing spam titles, I never got round to posting them on here and then there was the whole reinstalling windows shennanigan and me changing email addresses so that I get next to no spam now and I never did post the list. However, today Rob got a very amusing spam email and I asked him to email it to me, I thought I'd post it here, then I checked and the amusing spam did make the journey across, so I will find some of the best titles. Although I'm not sure any were as good as Rob's email which I will paste at the bottom here.
Mainly the reason for amusing headers is of course the simple fact that they're using random words and occassionally these random words conjur up amusing images or just sound funny. Maybe they're not actually funny at all and I just find them amusing because I'm a strange sad person who spends too much time staring at a computer screen, ahh well, never mind. Some of them I find funny just for sheer length of title, but I'm mainly going for amusing words.
Some of them sound a bit like odd flat-packed furniture instructions, along the lines of "flush nivel precisement" (a genuine instruction for
this bookcase of which I have 2 and Rob now has one and a half, well, he has one like this and also a smaller one, but it had the same instruction. Helen and I put all 4 together, well actually I put one together all by myself, I'm becoming very good at building this particular bookcase, I'm not sure I'm great at other items and I am not good at nailing the back on, but other than that I'm the queen of flush nivel precisement).
Yes, I know, get on with it, okay, here I wish to present Ali's top ten amusing spam headers, in no actual order:
- oaf collector
- bribe fruit contravariant
- albatross rap complicity
- huntington lemming equanimity I think it's ones with animals in that are the funniest.
- longevity ferret imbrue binaural courthouse - I think it's longevity ferret that I find entertaining, I'm not really sure why.
- Re: ratslayers mutilated face ollrjuqgldh - I got this twice, once without the random letters.
- marvelous flaxseed ptarmigan arboreal keaton this makes me picture some sort of wild-man tree-dwelling Michael Keaton. Very odd.
- Re: QDO, citizen!' the loathsome James sent me this one to add to my amusing spam collection.
- hamlet psychiatrist heyday Yes, I can imagine the hamlet psychiatrist would be having a heyday. Would this be Hamlet as in the play? Or hamlet as in a small village?
- penguin hate ham penitentiary bellamy
Notable mention that didn't make it: azerbaijan if you like Eddie Izzard then like me you may just find the name Azerbaijan amusing all by itself, so seeing it as a spam header was amusing.
Okay, here is Rob's spam, the title is quite amusing itself, but it was the body of the message that I really liked:
From: Edmond Pennington [mailto:omccl@chez.com]
Sent: 06 June 2004 10:42
To: email omitted, I'm not going to get Rob even more spam.
Subject: tea party 31 haunches
defined by espadrille reads a magazine, and wedding dress inside asteroid earns frequent flier miles; however, wheelbarrow related to diskette find lice on..A few starlets, and particle accelerator of tea party) to arrive at a state of pork chopAnd eat the dark side of her hydrogen atom.
alice masculine thigh kaplan
Random observation of the day
James, I checked your blog this morning and as a result was going to say that your blog seems to be loading now okay, but that yes it had been longer than just the one day. However, I've just gone again now and it's taken ages to load again, maybe it's to do with the time of day, I normally check at night (well, when it's night here in the UK anyway) and it's been taking ages most nights this week. Well, not ages, I don't know how to define ages, but it's not like it's a really long time, it just seems long compared to what it used to and what it should do.
