Yesterday Rachel asked me if I knew the song "Think of the world without any flowers" to which I said yes. She wanted to know the words, to which I confidently sang the first 2 lines and then sort of trailed off into duhhing and saying random words like bees. I found the words online without much trouble, so she has them now to use with her class. However, we found a much more entertaining thing to do with the song. Inventing new lines. It's a great song for doing that with. I'm very pleased that we decided to adopt my Cauliflower Cheesecake line as a kind of chorus, I like it :-) I hope that Rachel has difficulty singing the proper song now, I can just imagine a class of bemused 6 year olds as their teacher suddenly starts singing about Cauliflower cheesecake (a dish that I'm sure could catch on if people weren't so prejudiced about mixing sweet and savoury) or, just bursts into hysterics in the middle of the song.

Just in case you can't see how the song could go, here are some of the lines we invented. I can't remember some of the most funny ones. It also seems less funny than it did last night at dinner, no, I wasn't drunk, I don't drink, I do have a theory though that sometimes I become socially drunk or something, like being with people sometimes just gets me sillier and hyper.

Think of a world without any Ostriches
Think of a fridge without any cheese
Think of a mexican without guacomole
Think of a chip shop without mushy peas
We thank you Lord for cauliflower cheesecake
We thank you Lord and praise your holy name

Think of a toilet without any loo roll
Think of a picnic without ginger beer
Think of a world without any anywhere
Think of a world without any here
We thank you Lord for cauliflower cheesecake
We thank you Lord and praise your holy name

Think of Sunday dinner without roast potato
Think of a person without any knees
Think of a joke without any punchline
Think of a hive without any bees
We thank you Lord for cauliflower cheesecake
We thank you Lord and praise your holy name

We ended up singing a whole load of songs from our childhood after dinner. Songs like
He jumped from 50 000 feet without a parachute you know, I searched and have only found two sites with lyrics to this, and neither are the ones we sing, so I feel I should share them :-)

He Jumped from 50 000 Feet without a parachute
(Tune: John Browns Body)

He jumped from fifty thousand feet without a parachute
He jumped from fifty thousand feet without a parachute
He jumped from fifty thousand feet without a parachute
And he ain't gonna jump no more

Chorus:
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
And he aint gonna jump no more

(alternative chorus:
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
With a finger in your ear and a finger in your eye
Glory glory what a hell of a way to die
And he aint gonna jump no more)

Other verses:
They scraped him off the tarmac like a lump of strawberry jam...
They put him in a jam jar and they sent him home to mum...
She put him on the mantel piece for everyone to see...
The Vicar came to dinner, they had strawberry jam for tea...


and She sat 'neath the lilacs and played her guitar which I had forgotten had such hell fire verses!

It seems that the words to Nobody Likes Me, everybody hates me are different in different places too. Probably people forgetting lines or something. The words listed online most places seem to be:

Nobody likes me; everybody hates me.
Going to the garden to eat worms.
Long thin slimy ones, short, fat, fuzzy ones.
Ooey, gooey, gooey, gooey worms.

The long, thin, slimy ones slip down easily;
The short, fat, fuzzy ones stick.
When the short, fat, fuzzy ones stick to your teeth,
Your blood goes ick!

So you bite off the heads, and spit out the tails,
And throw the skins away;
And nobody knows how I can survive
On a hundred worms a day.

But I've never known it with the "Long thin slimy ones, short, fat, fuzzy ones.
Ooey, gooey, gooey, gooey worms." lines, we jumped straight to long, thin slimey ones. And it wasn't our blood that went ick. it was:

When the short, fat, furry ones, stick between your teeth, all the blood goes "schuuuu." Making a kind of gross sucking noise and ending the song. Didn't know the last verse, but Emma sang a last verse. Weird how many different versions of the same song there are around.