Oh, I deleted my pointing site, I figured it was a little redundant now that I have a blog to share my thoughts on. It didn't really have anything there anyway except some book reviews and a page about me. I guess I never actually said stuff about me here and it's possible that people that don't know me might read this. I think only 2 people who know me in real life actually read this, if any of you from real life read this tell me, I'll be amazed, one of the two doesn't really count either since it's Mark who I met online anyway. So anyway, since I've removed the page I thought I could paste the about me stuff here and then it wouldn't die completely. I might change bits if I can be bothered.

Who Am I Really? And does anyone actually care?
Hallo, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die... No, that's not right, that's not me, let me try again. Hello, my name is Dr Hildegard Langstrum and I am quite, quite mad... No, still not right, though the quite, quite mad bit is probably true. My name is Guybrush Threepwood and I am a mighty pirate. No... My name is Michael Caine. No!! My name is Ali, that's it, Ali Yates. Much less interesting. Ali as in a girl Ali, not a boy Ali. Ali is short for Alison jicyww. However, if you wish to remain alive and with all limbs intact I would advise refraining from using the long name.

(Okay, I don't know, that seemed funny at the time, sorry).

I'm from the UK and live in Leicester, I came here to study Psychology and Biology at Leicester University and stayed to do a P.G.C.E. I then taught a year 3 class at quite a tough school for a year and have now become one of those annoying teachers that left the profession after a year having become fully qualified. Sorry. Anyway, I am now working as a library assistant at Enderby library (the person in the pic there isn't me, it's Brenda, she's lovely, I work with her, the pic was thankfully taken before I came to the library).

I'm a Christian and I go to Church in the Community Leicester (it's an NFI church). I really enjoy working with kids and have recently started running a kids club at my church. That's great fun. It involves me being very silly and manic. Which I like doing, but it can be difficult in front of other adults, I have to pretend there're no other adults in the room and just do it.

I am a fan of Stargate and got involved in lists to do with Stargate and making sites about it, I tend to like to nitpick.

Online I go by the name of Kernel or Kernel Jack, obviously this is related to Stargate, the reason for the spelling altering to Kernel is that obviously I'm not the fictional character Colonel Jack. I am a bit of a nut instead, see, kernel, bit of a nut, ha ha. Yes, okay. I know, not incredibly funny. I'm not very good at thinking of aliases, so Kernel has stuck. In many ways I would like to have a non-Stargate related name, but I have yet to come up with one. I guess now I have cheddar monkey, yay, this is because I love cheddar, cheddar is the best cheese, I could eat it all day long.

I'm only involved in online stuff to do with Stargate even though I like quite a few other things more, what's with that? I don't know. Well, I guess films are more of a one off and you can't do so much talking about them. Things I like more than or as much as Stargate include: God (obviously, he lot better than Stargate), The Princess Bride, Mystery Men, Monty Python, Red Dwarf, The Insyderz (an excellent Christian Ska band, they rock!), Monkey Island (computer game).

I quote from "The Princess Bride" and "Monty Python and The Holy Grail" a lot, oh and I quite often quote insult swordfighting (from Monkey Island). It can be annoying I guess. Never mind.

If you've read all this and still want to speak to me why not Email me. No death threats or spam though, thanks. Though spam related products are welcome, not adverts for them, actual things, you'd have to know my postal address though and I'm not likely to put that online now am I?

(Since I'm spouting old stuff that I've published elsewhere I could repeat my whole background that I put on Kernel Jack's Pad it's not plagerism if it's your own work, Helen wrote the editorial comments).

I have led a fairly boring life, I grew up in Devon with my parents, and my brother and sister (ed - and the creamed rice: Devon knows how they make it so creamy), although I was actually born in Solihull (near Birmingham).

As a child I was a bit of a tomboy, enjoying climbing trees and playing with cars, I also loved playing shooting games with my brother. The kind of TV programmes I liked back then were "The A-Team", "MacGyver", "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "Night rider". Although I did also love the less boyish, violent ones, such as Playschool. My brother and I used to pretend to be characters from the A-Team. For some reason I was always Murdoch. Not that I mind, I am probably insane, and anyway he's the only A-Team member to appear in Stargate, yay, go gamekeeper!!

It is surprising I've lived this long, as my parents kept trying to get rid of me. On several occasions they took us on holiday a long way from home and then "lost" me. At Pontins in Skegness they left me with my brother (ed - bad idea) telling him to watch me, he then left me alone, I wandered around for a while and was eventually reunited with my parents. Then at High Harlin Campsite they again left me to be looked after by my brother (for some reason they appeared to have forgotten what happened the last time!) and he left me in the park. I managed to find my way back to the tent by walking round the whole of the campsite till I found it! There was also an incident where David handcuffed me, and lost the key (anyone else noticing some sort of trend?).

I can take comfort in the fact that I wasn't the only one my parents "misplaced". My sister aged 6 got into a lift (elevator to any Americans) at Heathrow airport without the rest of us, my Mum didn't know whether to try getting in another lift to follow her, leaving David and me, or to stay with us. In the end the lift came back and Suzanne was still in it. Moral of the story don't have three kids in 4.5 years.

I also experimented with putting a carrier bag on my head when I was little, well if I was allowed to put boxes or paper bags on my head I couldn't quite see why my mum went so berserk! I didn't suffocate anyway as is fairly obvious from the fact that I'm still here. I think that if I was old enough to put the bag on my head intentionally I would be able to take it off if I discovered I couldn't breathe. (ed - your long sentences are more dangerous)

You may think that's the end of my adventures and that as I got older I stopped getting lost and doing stupid things. You would be wrong, when I was about 14 I went to Florida with my parents and friends, about 6 of us hung around together for most of the time, trying not to be with the grown ups. We were at Epcot and we saw this monorail and thinking it just went round Epcot went on it. Once it started going we realised it was going completely away from the centre, we ended up at Disney World where it was announced that everyone had to get off. We didn't have a clue what to do, so we just sat there for what seemed an incredibly long time (with no one else coming on) and eventually it went back to Epcot. Of course we should have realised when we had to actually go out of Epcot and get our hands stamped before we could get on the monorail, but it all worked out OK in the end.

Anyway I appear to have survived these incidences and come through it all relatively unscathed (ed - physically anyway). I think that that is possibly everything you could possibly want to know about me and more (ed - yes, you can stop now). So goodbye and thanks for listening (ed - listening?!?).