Would you like to look and feel 10-20 years younger?

In a word, no.

The World-Famous Showtime Rotisserie cooks your Turkey in about half the time it takes in your conventional oven, saving you lots of money on energy. It is also the #1 Best Selling and most Highly Rated Rotisserie in the World.

Does it? Does it really? Is it really world famous? The email in my inbox is the first I'd heard of it.

But, I think my favourite has to be:

University Diplomas

Obtain a prosperous future, money earning power, and the admiration of all.

Who is all anyway? Boom boom, do you see what I did there?

I've never noticed that a university degree provides any of the above. I mean, okay theoretically you can get a better job, but it's not guaranteed. I've certainly not gained everyone's admiration and I earnt my degree. Or maybe you only gain admiration if you don't bother to earn it and just send off for one.

Diplomas from prestigious non-accredited universities based on your present knowledge and life experiences.

No required tests, classes, books or interviews

Bachelors, masters, MBA, and doctorate (PhD) diplomas available in the field of your choice.

Helen would like one in pylon field 'cos she thought that was a good name. She's silly.


No one is turned down.

I think that is my favourite bit of the email. I mean, whatever credibility they might possibly have in offering degrees, how can it possibly be worth anything at all if they don't turn anyone down? That means that someone who knows nothing can have one. How silly is that. How can anyone actually believe it? So what is the point of the email? Does anyone actually respond? I'm tempted to call them to ask, but it'd probably cost a lot to phone and then they'd track me down or something.

I wasn't going to talk about spam, I'm not sure how it happened. It's Helen's fault, she told me to. I was going to talk about Lord of the Rings, I just watched one of the extras, the Weta one.

We were just looking at the details of the extras on the DVD to confirm that it is Weta, that didn't really help as it didn't list that extra. However, it mentioned an extra musical number, so Helen started singing, "#one, one, one, one..." I think she is losing it. Just read her blog if you don't believe me. She's trying to get Jonas to go out with her. He's fictional!!!!!

Anyway, as I was saying, Lord of the Rings, Weta extra. It was fantastic. I couldn't believe the detail they went into. Stuff that you'd never be able to see on screen. I was impressed with the chain mail. TWELVE AND A HALF MILLION links. That's a lot. Put together by 2 people over 3 and a half years. Can you imagine what that must have been like? I bet they can do it in their sleep now. Click, click, click, click. Somewhat monotonous! Their CVs must be interesting, special skills - very good at clicking small plastic loops together. One of them said he really enjoyed it though. I doubt they'll want to do that again though, I wonder if they wake up at night screaming at the thought of having to click more links together.

It is late now, so I shall retire. I shall endeavour to compose a more interesting entry on the morrow. Undoubtedly My attempts will once more be thwarted by my pitiful lack of inspiration and woefully inadequate vocabulary.